India has always been a pioneer of arranged marriages. Even in the 21st century, an overwhelming majority of weddings are arranged. Today, one of my relatives informed me that my cousin’s marriage has been fixed with some guy. Her tone while giving me this news was not happy, it was more of a “we-had-no-other-choice” kind. I asked her the details, and what I heard left me pondering about the entire arranged marriage drama.
“She was actually not getting many proposals, the major reason being that she does not have a good height. Also, she is a bit fat. And moreover she is 27 now, it’s a now or never situation and thus we had to finalize this one guy that is somewhat interested in her. He is working in one of the metro cities, earning 15k per month, he’s not that well off but then we don’t have any other choice”
This is what I was told. How do you feel about this? Frankly, I was a bit irritated after hearing this. I don’t blame the guys for wanting a size zero girl, this perception is built into them, unfortunately, by our elders. Marriage according to me is a union of two souls wanting to be with each other, be it arranged or love. Why does the outer appearance of a person matter at all? This is nothing but two people taking part in a masquerade party, hiding their true selves, dancing on the tunes of their elders.
How do you guarantee yourself a blissful future with a person who agrees to marry you only if you are of so and so height, weight, complexion? People, wake up! Girls are capable of achieving paramount heights, and they are these days (I don’t need to enumerate the examples). Don’t raise your child to be of perfect “shape”, rather, hone them to become strong individuals. Make HER realize her talents. Make HIM wise enough to recognize and acknowledge her talents.
We all need to take initiatives to eradicate these conceptions from the society. Nobody should be made to think low of themselves. I don’t mind being single, but I do mind changing myself just to get married.
Hoping to help make an impact,
K.A.
Reverberations 